Sex, it isn’t a bad word. On the contrary, it’s a good one.
Being raised in an ultraconservative Christian home in the South surely had a little something to do with my early ideas about sex. It wasn’t something that was mentioned in my family’s home and good girls didn’t dare say that they knew anything about it. I even had it in my mind that I wouldn’t have sex until marriage. So much for that idea.
I had sex for the first time at fifteen, yes, fifteen, to an older boy that told me he loved me and yada yada yada. I agreed to have sex with him as his birthday gift. (His idea. Yeah, I was fifteen and dumb.) I thought it was going to be so very special. Boy, was I ever wrong. I showed up to his birthday party and later that night we had sex. What? That’s it? Really? Damn. The next morning my cousin called to tell me that after I left his house he also had sex with her best friend. WTF? Well, at least I was first. I was bitter, angry, hurt and confused to say the least. I again swore off sex until marriage.
My high school and college years were typical and no, I didn’t save myself for marriage. I did however view sex differently and wasn’t willing to simply sleep with just anyone. I had boyfriends breakup with me because I wouldn’t have sex with them. Their loss. I didn’t ever want to feel cheap again like I did at fifteen. My next sexual relationship was to a long-term boyfriend when I was 19. I’m glad I didn’t go through high school dealing with sex issues. That’s the only good thing that came out of my horror of my first time.
It wasn’t until my thirties that I began to fully understand just what sex meant to me. I had always allowed other people’s ideas and needs to come before my own. I like most Americans have been married and now divorced. I’m 100% okay with this. I have a beautiful son and learned some very valuable lessons along the way. The one lesson that I learned it that you have to sometimes fight to be who you want to be. I am a sexually secure woman with old-school values and new-school ideas. I’m okay with this, it’s society that I sometimes worry about. Well, not anymore.
This is a small portion of my true ideas and thoughts about life and sex. I plan on sharing more of those thoughts here. If you enjoy reading, this makes me happy. If I offend you, I apologize in advance. Welcome to my true life, no MTV needed for this show.
Never ask a women to tone it down, but if you like what you’re reading please let me know at sandie@augustagolfgirl.com
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